By Renee Stewart
“I felt like I knew those people,” she said. “As they got out of the car, I knew who I was looking at.”
If the sun shone brighter in Eden Prairie that July day, if her garden flowers stretched higher to the sky or if the world stood still, Fran Dohrmann probably didn’t notice.
There were other, more important details at hand. It was her chance – her first chance – to study in person the faces of her three sisters and brother.
“It was kind of emotional,” Fran said of the meeting.
Quick tears aside and dried, lunch was served in her home along with a buffet of never-before-shared memories and photographs.
“We had no problem with conversation,” she said.
This opportunity to settle in together to talk and absorb each other’s uniqueness and similarities was brought on by a letter – sent just this past May – to the Minnesota Children’s Home Society in St. Paul.
The letter writer from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, wanted to know if the society could provide any information about twins who were adopted through the Children’s Home Society in 1937. These babies, while never held in their birth family’s arms, were held in their memory through stories from their birth mother, Laura Hults.
It was 1937, and options were limited for unwed mothers. Laura lived in Yellow Medicine County in the western part of the state. She became pregnant with twins. Her boyfriend wanted to marry her, but because of their young ages, her family thought it best that she place the babies up for adoption. Born in a group home in Minneapolis, the babies were later transferred to the Children’s Home Society in St. Paul. They were adopted six months later by the late Fred and Dorothy Grote, who named their children Frances and Fred Jr.
Fran and Fred Jr. grew up on a farm near Rush City, all the while never realizing that their birth mother eventually married another man and had four other children, three girls and a boy.
Fred Jr. eventually moved to Scottdale, Penn., where he still resides, and Fran married Rich Dohrmann. Together, they had a son and a daughter and have lived in Eden Prairie for 28 years.
Finding family
While Laura may have given up her twins, she never forgot them. She would talk from time to time about them with her family, yet she never pursued finding the children.
“Back in those days, this is how you had to do it,” Fran said, explaining that she understood her birth mother’s decision.
Fran thought of looking for her birth family, but, for whatever reason, it never panned out – until June 7.
It was a weekend. The phone rang, and Fran was surprised to hear from a social worker, who had been contacted through a letter by Kristie Rood, the daughter of Fran’s half brother, Jay Rood. Kristie wanted to find her long lost half aunt and uncle. After the deaths of Kristie’s grandparents (Fran’s birth mother and her husband), the door was opened. It was time to pass through to see who was on the other side.
The social worker wanted to know if Fran was ready to pursue making contact with the birth family. She was, and Fran and Fred signed release forms, so information could be shared. The process seemed to accelerate. Only two weeks later, Fran e-mailed her half niece, Kristie.
“It was exciting,” Fran recalled. “I guess I’d never thought this would happen.”
Jay was the first sibling to make contact, “I’ve been thinking about you guys for years,” he began.
After a stream of e-mails and phone calls, a plan was hatched for the siblings to meet. Fran’s half sisters and brother suggested a park, someplace neutral in Eden Prairie. Fran wouldn’t hear of it. She’d already opened her heart to them, opening her home was a cakewalk.
After traveling from Sioux Falls, S.D., Fran’s newly found family pulled their car into her Eden Prairie driveway.
Ranging in ages from 46 to 63 years old, Julene, Carlene, Renee and Jay met their big sister, Fran, who watched them emerge from the car – one after the other. Half nieces Kristie and Monica Larson also made the trip.
They spent the day exchanging life stories and allowing each other to ask questions that had spent so many years fermenting in their hearts and minds.
Sadly, Fred’s declining health prevented him from joining in on the reunion, but Fran said the family fully intends to visit him in Pennsylvania.
With the first meeting come and gone, Fran hopes to continue making up for lost time.
“It’s really important to me now,” she said. “I didn’t know if I had any [more] brothers and sisters.”
She and Rich will travel to Sioux Falls in October. In a slip of the heart or mind, Fran said they were “going home” when she first talked about the trip.
In the meantime, Fran has an extensive scrapbook of her birth family. It includes photos, family history and personal information on each member to include education, employment and personality descriptions. In turn, Fran and Rich recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, which was commemorated with a CD of photos that has been shared with the Sioux Falls families.
While Fran always dreamed of having a sister, (she stood up at church and reported, “Now, I ended up with three!”), the sharing of medical histories is becoming even more enlightening and crucial.
Fran discovered that her grandmother died at age 40 of cancer, and her mother died at 70 of cancer as well. Today, Fran is fighting her own battle with the disease.
“I have a daughter, and I tell her to stay on top of it,” Fran said. “Medical history is very important as far as knowing your background.”
Medical similarities are important enough to share, but Fran shares some other physical attributes with her siblings. She said she looks like two of her sisters, and “I do think I look like my mother.” – a connection that can never be taken away …

Time is relative
Time is relative – especially when considering how long it took for Fran Dohrmann to meet her half brother and sisters. While many years separated them, it only took less than two months from the time the initial letter of inquiry was sent by her half niece to the Children’s Home Society to when Fran met her siblings.
“That’s probably usually a little quicker than it goes,” said Linda Kuhlmann, a licensed social worker with the Children’s Home who has searched to reunite families for more than 19 years.
Once an inquiry is made, staff moves to verify information and proceed with tracking down the missing individuals.
“We never know how long it’s going to take,” Kuhlmann said, adding that they hope searches average around six months, “but that’s not always possible.”
According to Kuhlmann, once the missing party has been located, the agency will pass letters to the birth parent (or family) and the adopted individual until one or both are ready to release their contact information to the other party. If only one party is ready, then the agency will continue to act as a conduit for communication.
“People arrive at that point at different times,” Kuhlmann said. “There are many things to consider.”
Some of those issues to consider are highlighted by the agency to birth parents (families) and adopted individuals. They include:
* understanding the level of contact that is sought
* being prepared for the variety of possible outcomes
* staying connected to a strong support network before, during and after the search
* considering that the child or birth parent might not have the same emotional preparedness as the searcher
* preparing for wide range of emotions
* remaining open to using the Children’s Home Society’s Post Adoptive Services program.
There is a plethora of adoption search information available through the Children’s Home and other local and national agencies. For those interested in reading about the unvarnished perspective of birthmothers, Kuhlmann strongly recommended, “The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade” by Ann Fessler. Information is available through contacting The Children’s Home Society Family Services at 1605 Eustis St., St. Paul, 651-646-7771 and www.chsfs.org.